The power of play

There is no parenting manual, but I’m pretty sure if there was it would look a lot like Bluey. Yes, kids learn many lessons about life by seeing themselves in Bluey and Bingo. But adults can learn endless lessons about parenting by seeing Bandit and Chilli as realistic depictions of exemplary parenting. They are able to somehow prioritize themselves, eachother, and their kids all at once. They lay clear boundaries, express their feelings, and say “yes, and” as much as possible.

One of my favorite episodes of Bluey is “Copycat.” Bluey and Bandit discover an injured bird. They take it to the vet, where it dies. Bluey is sad and having some Big Feelings. To process, she enlists the help of Bingo to reenact the events of the day. When Bluey takes Bingo-the-bird to the vet, their mom delivers great news! The bird will live! Bluey corrects her and says “no, you’re supposed to say it’s bad news.” Chilli asks if Bluey is sure that’s how she wants it to go.

As parents, we always want to make our children’s Big Feelings better. They are hard and scary. If we ever have a chance to change a negative outcome for our kids, we will certainly take it. But as Bluey demonstrates, sometimes better is not what our kids need, or even want. Sometimes, all they want is to better understand their Big Feelings.

How do they do this? Through the thing they do best: play. By recreating the event, Bluey gets to experience it all over again, but in a space that she knows is safe, at a speed that she can control. It won’t make the Big Feelings go away and it won’t change what happened to the bird. But it might take her a step closer to understanding grief and processing loss. And that is truly magical.